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, written by Jeremy. Read the commentary.

One late, introspective night in early 2003, I closed my eyes and typed till done. Dave Pollard’s recent post reminded me of this note to self:

If I dream about what would make me happy or content. Satisfied. Stopped and geared up all at once. It would look like this:

My house would be on the water. It should be the ocean. But a nice lake would be fine. The house is all one level, or at least we walk into the upstairs part and the basement walks out onto the beach. The beach is sandy, I own it, no one else walks there.

There are hills around. Green. Lush. Loads of birds. The air is clean clean. Not just ‘better’ then other options. The weather is never super hot. I can’t stand hot. And never super cold. Lori can’t stand cold.

We can reach a city in 30 minutes. An airport in 20.

I get to swim lots. I run. We eat loads of fruit, drink water. I read. Lori plays piano. We have horses that I watch and she rides. Our car is black. Air conditioned. Leather seats. CD player. Sleek and professional.

I give advice. Listen, read, go to meetings, then give advice. I sort through good ideas, pick out what will work and how to get it done. Sometimes I have ideas of my own. More often I am excited by someone else’s idea. I work with a group of smarties. Some are doctors. A few worked lots and long. We have an artist, musician, and a talker. The talker sells. The artists are creative. The workers sort through the ‘realism’. The intellectuals anticipate the trends. Give advice on ethics, marketing. Information management. I am vice president. I work for an energetic visionary who can’t get a single thing done without my help. We go halfsies on the left over cash. Holiday lots. Drink something insanely expensive after every big deal. He likes cigars and I like art.

My greatest strengths are envisioning visions. Tying threads. Coupling innovations with people that need them. Thinking big. Getting the broad sense. Getting goose bumps and tingling back-of-the-neck hair at possibilities. Putting things together that ‘go’. Sensing matches. Tossing out clashes. Unless clashes are better than matches – I am the guy that knows if they are.

I paint. Sort of real, mostly edges. Blurry edges. Like visions. I read. Books about the future, science, unanswered questions. Remarkable people. People that tried. I listen to music that is floating. The music must make my heart ache or sing. Reaches in, grabs my throat just above the heart and plugs it with a lump. My neck tingles here like it tingles at work.

I have trimmed nails. Both toes and hands. My hair is grey. I wish it was black and grey. It isn’t. I have strong legs. I have a strong stomach and you can see the muscles if I cough. My pecks twitter in the morning when I yawn. I have nice white teeth. I had laser eye surgery. I see well. But I still wear fake glasses sometimes – I like thinking I look sophisticated.

I drink wine and know why it’s good. When Lori is out I sip scotch or something else that is smart. I like feeling expansive. So I do that when she can’t make fun of me. I buy art and only get what feels right. I use technology but it never uses me.

I have a soul that is at peace. I don’t worry about being good enough, right enough, or acceptable. I have enough self-discipline to not fight something I really love. I never cut corners on being true. I use my mind – all of it. I am not silly about being vain. I just love what I got going on. I really really love it.

I smile and people get warmed up. I laugh liquid. Not starchy like now. I sit like a heavy bag of sand left for a week. Rooted and still.

I breath long deep breaths. I play the piano late at night.

It’s two year’s old, vain as hell, and still gets me juiced.


I am thinking today that you may make your mark as a writer.

Find a publication that will take short articles. Slam a bunch of them together into a book at some point.

One idea for a book I had was to interview self made millionaires still married to their first wife…pick out the winning pattern.

“smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people learn from the mistakes of others”

Thanks for the advice, both direct and indirect. The book idea is a good one and certainly apropos. While I’m not on the road to millions I aspire to understand these people.

Glad to see your note Randy. Miss you.